I think that in the spiritual community there's a lot of dogma about what is right and what is wrong. Yet in truth there is no right or wrong, everything just Is. We are all a part of the greater whole, we are all One. In fact we are Source experiencing itself as You.
So everything that you do and I do is perfect just as it is. Yet the only thing we have to take into consideration is that everything that we do to another we are also doing to ourselves. Because the other is always you. So all destruction, all pain or harm that you cause another, whether it be another person or an animal or Gaia/Earth, you're doing to yourself.
That's why you should love yourself as you love the other, because the other is always you. Love Thyself! When you learn to love yourself you not only start making choices based on what's good for you, you also help others around you to make choices that are good for them.
I worked with a truly amazing person when I was working at Nimea Kaya the Ayahuasca retreat. Sylvie Meyer the manager of the retreat, would often tell the story of how her partner loved themselves so much that they rejected her and through that observation of self love she learned to love herself.
That's often where it happens, when we cannot feed of that external love anymore, when the emptiness inside