I finally have a computer again and I can communicate with the world with much greater ease. One thing that I've truly learned and am still learning here in Peru is patience. I don't think I've ever been given so much practice in patience and in letting go and allowing things to be as they are even if I wish they were different.
I've learned that even what feels like a struggle or what feels like mistakes are often just a process. This process of awakening can feel like its a never ending journey and I mean it is. 😏
The thing is that I needed to not communicate with the world for a while. I needed to come back to another place within myself, this place of wanting to communicate. Not because I feel that I should but because I want to connect. This urge to connect has been growing these last three months since I arrived up here in the Sacred Valley but its taken me until now to get the computer I wanted.
I needed to go through a process of healing (again) and coming down to a new place within myself and I keep repeating this to myself. I keep writing this and yet I don't really know what it means. So diffuse and subtle yet I know that I'm intrinsically different. I have this deeper comfort within myself and I'm much more grounded in my body.
It's funny because the first couple of years after my awakening I had such a specific idea of what I was trying to "be". Now more that 10 years after my awakening, everything is becoming more and more ordinary. I don't think about those moments of being at one with everything or feeling connected to everything or the moments of pain and discomfort that I still experience. Instead they are moving and I'm witnessing and I'm a part of it all.
I felt the weight of the world lately and at times I just want to shake the world awake and then I remember that it's already happening. The energy is getting stronger and stronger by the day and the pressure is upon us to transform, to transmute the old. We are being bombarded with light and I find some days hard to be in the world because all I can do is to lie down and process the energy. I have come to acceptance that this is what is needed now. That our perception of what needs to be done or how a day should look like is just an idea.
When we slow down and listen we can allow the day to be or the night for that matter. We have to give ourselves the space to sit with what comes up. Whether it's painful or ecstatic, the process of awakening demands the time for you to be there with it. That goes before anything.
When we allow ourselves to sit with it, with the knowing that when we are with the energy whatever the energy hold at that moment (pain, sadness, joy, excruciating expansion, fear, love...) it will pass. It will move through.
Often if not always great expansion is followed by great contraction before the new frequency has been fully integrated into your being. So that means that after a great heart expansion for example you will most likely feel heartache and heart contraction the day after or a few days after the expansion. The contraction will pass after the new paradigm for your heart has been established.
So this is a time to slow down and listen to your inner guidance. To trust that you are held, that now more than anytime before you are supported in your awakening. That requires your willingness to face yourself on all levels. To become responsible for all that you feel and all that you think. To soften in all ways and to find your own Self within.
It's important to remember that what we believe an awakened person is and how an awakened person should behave isn't always the truth. That's why it's important to look at preconceived ideas of who you should be and how you should act and learn to listen within. You are unique and you are supposed to be unique, what do you like? How do you feel good? What brings you joy? How do you want to live your life?
These are interesting questions to ask and look at. I found that what I thought I wanted many years ago wasn't really what I truly wanted from my heart and soul but preconceived ideas of how I thought I should live. But those answers only come if we allow ourselves to ask them and to sit with them. We create our own world in communion with the rest of the collective consciousness of humanity, but we are also very independent in creating our own reality. The strongest and most powerful energy will always be Love, it transmutes everything else.
So look at all the beliefs of your reality, what's possible, what's "right" and what's "wrong". Especially look at your triggers and your judgements. Do it with excitement and curiosity not judgment of yourself. We are learning and we are all walking each other home, so see it as getting to know yourself and to see where your creations come from, all of them. The greatest healing comes from simple presence. Our most intense triggers can be cleared and released if we just sit with them until there's no negative or positive charge left. When we have neutralised it. We do so through presence, through our awareness.
This is a time of allowance, this energy will be excruciating if we try to fight or hold on to the old. It's easier if you allow and surrender and receive the light. If you understand that the pain is coming up because it wants to release. If you in the moments of stress or discomfort allow the space to sit with it. To allow it to come through. To allow yourself to listen to the parts that doesn't want to, that wants things to be different. Theres a place for action but its not in the places of great stress or discomfort. Allow the emotional pain to move through, come to stillness and then act. When we do, we find that the situation as often shifted by its own and that we from that place of integration have a different perspective on everything.
That's really how we move and shift through timelines.
So Much Love,