Updated: Feb 25
I'm currently in the Peruvian Amazon, this being the third time that I've come here to work with Ayahuasca and other plants to learn more about healing and also to open up myself more.
I think right after my awakening I thought that the awakening was this one huge thing that just happened to someone and then their life was completely changed and they were forever healed from everything. When I read about it it sounded like something someone experienced and then never felt pain or ever suffered again.
For me this was never true other than of course the immense transformational experience it was, instead as I look back at the past 8 years, I have been intensely involved in my own personal healing. It might seem odd to need "so much" when you are so much at peace and love to still continuously look for healing.
I sometimes question if I need it, but then I always end up asking myself again but if not now then when? If I don't focus on healing it all now and going deeper now and learning more now. Then I just have to wait till later and what's the point of that?
Yet that inner dialogue is a very small part of it, the big part is that feeling that this is where I need to be right now.
I have so much right in front of me right now that are everything that I am passionated about, mostly healing but also art and especially music. These different aspects are coming together for me to learn more and to explore my own expression and to maybe find a new expression in my