Last year what came through as the greatest insight for me personally as well as in my work is the idea of responsibility. What is my responsibility and what are OUR responsibility as human beings?
What does it actually mean to be responsible? And what does it mean to be responsible when you are self-realized and know that everything Is You. Where does my own responsibility begin or end? Is there such a thing as an end to my own responsibility? And if there is no end then how do I deal with that?
A friend sent me a quote by Sadhguru saying that we have unlimited ability to respond and that's responsibility. I love that.
Osho starts by dissecting the meanings that we have given to the word. That heaviness that I feel with the word comes with that. The need to do what you're told and to be a good girl and a good boy. Don't questions things - just do as you're told. Uff. I really don't like any of it.
Osho talks about how the idea of responsibility then squanders the idea of spontaneity. Freedom to be. To chose in the moment.
But real responsibility is that, its in the very exact moment it happens. How do you show up in the world? At every moment? What kind of ripple effect do you leave after you? Do you understand your own personal effect upon the world?
Can you stay real but yet remain positive? Can you show up for US together yet still remain unique and free as an individual person?
Yes, then what does that look like? Like really look like? Because we can intellectualize an idea as responsibility to a mental concept that we can discuss and ponder about forever yet what does responsibility in alignment with you highest inner truth mean?
We can make ourselves responsible for all kinds of different things and we may suffer in silence for having taken that responsibility yet we have achieved nothing on the external. Do you know what I mean? We take responsibility for the suffering of people that we love or people that we hurt and yet we don't do anything about it. Instead we carry it. We carry it as a burden, dimming our own light and making ourselves much smaller than we ever need to be.
Yet if we look at responsibility from a perspective that everything outside of me IS me. That everything that we experience are our own created experience no matter how subconscious it may seem. Everything, absolutely everything that happens to you comes from within you. There can be no other way.
So when we want to heal something, anything really, we need to become fully responsible for ourselves. That means that we cannot hold any sort of victim mentality anymore.
What I love about working with Ayahuasca is that the answer of the prayers comes very fast when you take full responsibility for your own life experience and that includes EVERYTHING.
But no you're never ever responsible for anyone else. Yet you do have a responsibility to HOW you react to others, you have responsibility for how you "see" or rather what you project upon others. Because when we can become really aware of our own inner world and we can take full responsibility for it then we can really let go of it. The ideas of what's what. Our own internal structure that may or may not serve us. Yet even though it may not serve us we may still want to hold on to it out of comfort of the known. That's one of the reasons why it might not feel so good to let go of it. But that's the part where the actual healing takes place. Remember you have to FEEL it to HEAL it.
Everything that's coming up in your life experience is an experience of your SELF. But we have to go through that discomfort. It's important. It's really important to listen to yourself and take care of yourself but please don't quit just because it becomes uncomfortable because then you often stay in that state of being. Sometimes for years and sometimes lifetime after lifetime. We ask for healing and the stuff that needs to go comes up to be seen and felt and then we quit. We don't want to feel it, we want to be HEALED already. Yet the whole healing process is in the feeling and staying within the awareness of what's coming up within. It has to be seen, it has to be made conscious. We have to become conscious of ourselves, of our own inner world.
Responsibility. Responsibility for ALL your relationships. No one is doing anything to you. You are doing it all yourself. Everyone is inside you, everything is inside you, it's showing up in your external world so that you can SEE and choose whether or not you want to continue making the choices that you've made in the past or if you want to decide to make different choices this time around. It all starts with awareness. Presence within. Because everything is a mirror.
I love you.
So Much Love,
Kristina