Updated: Feb 25
Someone asked me how you can be vulnerable yet not fragile and break down in the middle of a work day? How do you allow yourself to be vulnerable but still remain somewhat contained?
Being vulnerable doesn't mean that you allow your emotions to control you. Being vulnerable means allowing yourself to feel what you are feeling and staying present within that. Being truly vulnerable doesn't mean that you go unconscious and become reactive to the world outside of yourself.
Being vulnerable means allowing yourself to feel what you are feeling and coming to a place of self-knowing within that. That also means that sometimes you do allow yourself to be very fragile and allow yourself to express your own needs. But to become aware of our own needs, our true needs, we need to listen within.
When we do our own inner work, we learn to take responsibility for how we feel. Thus we don't put the responsibility of our feelings on someone else's table. Yet we can communicate how the behaviors of others might make us feel and if certain relationships don't change or evolve even if we communicate our needs then we can choose to walk away.
But in the end we always have to go back to ourselves and sit with what we are feeling. We have to allow other people to be yet we have to also be responsible for ourselves. So we can have conversations with someone expressing how their behavior makes us feel yet if they are unable to change their behavior, then we have to take responsibility for our own life and maybe choose to walk away from the situation and the relationship.
Being vulnerable means being accountable for how we feel, it means turning inwards. That also means that we need to face our own ego that may want to put up walls and may be hiding away from doing what our hearts tell us to do because that would mean becoming responsible and accountable for how we feel.. and facing our fears, which tend to in front of our hearts desires.
Does that make sense?
Being vulnerable means more than anything to open up to ourselves and when we do that we can then open up to the world. We have to create safety within ourselves before we open up to the world and that really can only happen once we have become our own self-healers and our own best friends. That means changing how we speak to ourselves, not putting ourselves down etc etc.
Of course this often needs to be done with someone as a therapist, a healer or a good friend that can help us to navigate within our own thoughts and feelings. But in the end our work needs to come inside.
If our internal environment isn't safe then how can we be safe in the world?
Becoming safe inside takes time and a lot of introspection. We have to untangle lifetimes of conditioning and that isn't always so easy. But step by step you can and the first step is to become vulnerable within yourself. What am I really feeling? What am I thinking? Can I take responsibility for both?
When you do take responsibility for your thoughts and feelings you can also change them. Then its not outside of yourself. It's not an external event taking place outside of your control. It's an actual inner event that you can shift through your awareness and your presence within.
When we become aware and present within the events taking place within we can have compassion for ourselves and we can open up to new possibilities and stop becoming unconsciously reactive and defensive. We can become vulnerable with ourselves and when we do, we become empowered creators. As soon as you realize that you can affect your reality by shifting your inner state of being, you can handle anything. You become invincible and then if you sometimes fall down you know its not such a big deal anymore because you know you can also pick yourself up. It all starts and ends within yourself.
So Much Love,