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Last year what came through as the greatest insight for me personally as well as in my work is the idea of responsibility. What is my responsibility and what are OUR responsibility as human beings?


What does it actually mean to be responsible? And what does it mean to be responsible when you are self-realized and know that everything Is You. Where does my own responsibility begin or end? Is there such a thing as an end to my own responsibility? And if there is no end then how do I deal with that?


A friend sent me a quote by Sadhguru saying that we have unlimited ability to respond and that's responsibility. I love that.


Osho starts by dissecting the meanings that we have given to the word. That heaviness that I feel with the word comes with that. The need to do what you're told and to be a good girl and a good boy. Don't questions things - just do as you're told. Uff. I really don't like any of it.


Osho talks about how the idea of responsibility then squanders the idea of spontaneity. Freedom to be. To chose in the moment.


But real responsibility is that, its in the very exact moment it happens. How do you show up in the world? At every moment? What kind of ripple effect do you leave after you? Do you understand your own personal effect upon the world?


Can you stay real but yet remain positive? Can you show up for US together yet still remain unique and free as an individual person?


Yes, then what does that look like? Like really look like? Because we can intellectualize an idea as responsibility to a mental concept that we can discuss and ponder about forever yet what does responsibility in alignment with you highest inner truth mean?


We can make ourselves responsible for all kinds of different things and we may suffer in silence for having taken that responsibility yet we have achieved nothing on the external. Do you know what I mean? We take responsibility for the suffering of people that we love or people that we hurt and yet we don't do anything about it. Instead we carry it. We carry it as a burden, dimming our own light and making ourselves much smaller than we ever need to be.


Yet if we look at responsibility from a perspective that everything outside of me IS me. That everything that we experience are our own created experience no matter how subconscious it may seem. Everything, absolutely everything that happens to you comes from within you. There can be no other way.


So when we want to heal something, anything really, we need to become fully responsible for ourselves. That means that we cannot hold any sort of victim mentality anymore.


What I love about working with Ayahuasca is that the answer of the prayers comes very fast when you take full responsibility for your own life experience and that includes EVERYTHING.


But no you're never ever responsible for anyone else. Yet you do have a responsibility to HOW you react to others, you have responsibility for how you "see" or rather what you project upon others. Because when we can become really aware of our own inner world and we can take full responsibility for it then we can really let go of it. The ideas of what's what. Our own internal structure that may or may not serve us. Yet even though it may not serve us we may still want to hold on to it out of comfort of the known. That's one of the reasons why it might not feel so good to let go of it. But that's the part where the actual healing takes place. Remember you have to FEEL it to HEAL it.


Everything that's coming up in your life experience is an experience of your SELF. But we have to go through that discomfort. It's important. It's really important to listen to yourself and take care of yourself but please don't quit just because it becomes uncomfortable because then you often stay in that state of being. Sometimes for years and sometimes lifetime after lifetime. We ask for healing and the stuff that needs to go comes up to be seen and felt and then we quit. We don't want to feel it, we want to be HEALED already. Yet the whole healing process is in the feeling and staying within the awareness of what's coming up within. It has to be seen, it has to be made conscious. We have to become conscious of ourselves, of our own inner world.


Responsibility. Responsibility for ALL your relationships. No one is doing anything to you. You are doing it all yourself. Everyone is inside you, everything is inside you, it's showing up in your external world so that you can SEE and choose whether or not you want to continue making the choices that you've made in the past or if you want to decide to make different choices this time around. It all starts with awareness. Presence within. Because everything is a mirror.


I love you.


So Much Love,

Kristina

We're coming towards the end of the year and as appropriate it can be to make a review over the year. Being on an intense path of awakening and healing is rewarding because you really reap the benefits of the work. It's hard to compartmentalize and divide to explain what did what, or even to be able to go into minute details of my own transformation and continuous awakening.


I feel more me than ever before and I feel happier than ever before to be me. Mostly because it feels really good to be me right now. I have a calm in me that I don't think I ever had before. I'm also coming to terms with my own self-worth and my own self-love, an actual deep acceptance to myself as I am.


Maybe that's what I will walk away with from the Amorosas more than anything. This deep sense of love for myself. A love that doesn't have to do with ego, rather as if I have come into a deep comfort with myself. As if the body and spirit are finally deeply integrated with each other and at peace.


I still have little things with myself that comes up and I know that I'll probably have a lot to integrate for the next couple of months and I'm actually really looking forward to some quiet reflective time to myself.


I'm heading to Ecuador for two months now at the start of the new year. I will stay at a meditation center in a very beautiful and tranquil place where I will have full internet access so that I can get some online work done. I'm also looking forward to eating lots of food and to sleep in and having some time away from the medicine work for a little bit. To have some space and time to integrate all my work of the last year.


It's really been a remarkable year in so many different ways. When I first came here in February this year (this time around) I died in one of my first ceremonies with Ayahuasca and (it's not uncommon for that to occur with Ayahuasca) and honestly it wasn't very dramatic either. I was helping someone else and then all the suddenly I had to lie down and die and then I came back almost straight away.


I think I've been waiting for a big ego death and it didn't feel like that either but it started a deeper process and a deeper letting go. I look back over this year and I'm so different, my preferences seem to go deeper towards the spiritual way. I'm more sensitive than ever before and my prayers are deeper and more sincere. I really really want to help but I'm also feeling more insistent in caring for my body and my self.


When I first took Ayahuasca back in 2014 I was really physically fit and I used to practice yoga almost every day except Sundays. Then I started working with Ayahuasca and I found it very hard to be able to maintain a physical routine of any kind. Instead I mostly craved to sleep, so immensely tired and I realize now that I needed to sleep for the transformation of my physical being to occur. Now on the other hand I feel I'm able to start rebuilding my physical body again.


It's interesting all the physical changes that I notice for myself, one of the most interesting are how my spine keeps getting straighter and straighter. I've been having this cracking in my neck and head going on for a couple of years now and continuous spontaneous readjustments of my spine. I've always been tall and as a little girl I was the head taller than everyone else. You can see in photos how I tried to sway my body in different ways to make myself appear smaller. This gave me a slightly hunched posture. Continuously working with the medicines of Pachamama and the energy of Kundalini has completely changed my posture. My neck is little by little completely being straightened out - literally. I'm so curious how much better my whole being will be functioning when my spine is completely in perfect alignment again.


Other physical changes that I rarely reflect over such as never needing to use my reading glasses anymore, That's also been a couple of years now.


My physical body looks different and I sometimes think that I also look different when I look in the mirror and I think that maybe it's true that we continuously recreate ourselves. I look at old pictures and I find it hard to relate to the person that I was, things that I used to be nostalgic about doesn't bother me anymore. It's not that I don't care anymore, I just don't have much if any attachment to what was anymore. There's an immense sense of freedom to that. It also feels as if I'm freeing up so much space to create something new and different.


That hurdles that used to be there aren't there anymore. That I'm opening up to so much more freedom within myself having freed myself from all that old. It really feels like I'm in a complteely different place with myself and the world - my reality.


Tonight I'm sitting in ceremony with the some Shamans from the Brazilian tribe Huni Kuni. It's my first ever ceremony in their tradition and I'm very excited. Then I have a month left here in Peru before I head to Ecuador.


This is becoming a long blog post but I also want to mention the Sunday Healing Circle. It's been some powerful Sunday sessions on my end, I don't know how you guys experiences have been? Please let me know! :)


It's definitely different that working with only one light body at the time. The collective light body feels different and I feel like I'm learning so much. We moved some very heavy energies the last month and during every session I'm receiving more and more information about this circle and how it works. Very important to remember is that no ones negative energy is ever shared but everyones light encodings are shared freely within the circle.


Meaning that if one person has opened something within themselves that the others haven't opened yet. That opening will be shared in the group with everyone that is ready to open that as well. Then the collective light body remembers so that people then join afterwards will also be able to recognize this opening within themselves.


We are all walking each other home, meaning we are all helping each other remember. Everything that we need is already within ourselves. It's just hidden under "stuff" such as limitations and fears, programmings and distortions. When we are connected to alignment - alignment happens by itself. Does that make sense?


In the forum of Healing Divinity I have created a topic called Intentions for the Healing Circle, here you may post your personal intentions for the circle. You may also connect with other members of the group. If you want to sign up you can do so here.


Thank you for reading!


Much Love,

Kristina




I was told by spirit to create a collective healing circle this summer and I did, I just never announced its being because I really didn't know what to do with it since I never done collective healings before.


Then I was shown what I was supposed to do, so normally I work with one person at the time. But here I was shown that I would be working on a collective light body, this light body would hold the blueprint of all the collective needs of the group. Yet it would be as if I was working on an individual light body clearing whatever comes up, opening and activating whatever I'm being guided to do.


Everyone that's a part of this healing circle is a part of this collective light body shown to me as if each of you were connected by individual light cords. The individual collective light body only shares the light, it doesn't share any of the other participants "stuff" that's of a lower denser frequency. You're individually connected to the collective light body through which your higher self shares your needs and then receives the light back. The light activates a remembrance within your being, that allows you to heal and let go of whatever you're holding within that's blocking the light from flowing through.


I've been told that this is just as me working individually with a person yet the magnitude of this way of working grows exponentially with each person joining. Meaning the more people that joins the more powerful the energy that we will collectively create.


I only work with love and with the highest Source. I don't necessarily do anything other than holding my awareness within the collective light body and following the directions to where my attention and awareness is needed. Then I mostly pray and the work is done by itself through the process of remembrance.


It's about clearing the cobwebs of limitations and fears, programmings of separation from Source, the I Am, the All. All that blocks the divine light from flowing through your being.


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You may be anywhere in the world to receive it. I was told to hold the space for the circle every Sunday but the time is chosen by me out of convenience and may change in the future.


The cost to participate in this circle is US$10/monthly and this price was told to me by spirit as well.


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I highly recommend that you set your own intentions for the group healing, that you connect with your higher self through your heart and ask for what you want to let go of, for what you want to heal, for what you want to be able to receive, for what you want to be able to give. Ask and it's given. Please set your intentions and take responsibility for those intentions, concentrate on them if you will or hold the space for silence and be present within yourself. Allow whatever that needs to come up to come up. Remember you need to feel it to heal it. Doesn't mean that you need to suffer, but you need to be present within the sensations of your body.


Each person will receive their own individual healing at their own time. Yet I would recommend for setting a space sometime during the Sunday or prepare yourself before Sunday with your intentions and what you want to work on.


Then let it go. Let it God.


Here's the link if you want to be a part of the Collective Healing Circle.


Much Love,

Kristina



A little update

This year has been very intense in many ways and I’m sure many of you have been feeling maybe challenged by the changes in the world. I’v...

A little update

This year has been very intense in many ways and I’m sure many of you have been feeling maybe challenged by the changes in the world. I’v...
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