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If I look back at my life, there have been so many times where I wanted to leave. A relationship, friendship, even clients.. yet I would hang in there until my resentment was overflowing. Looking back, there's a part of me that wish I would have just realised that I deserved more. That what I felt was wrong was 100% wrong. Yet I thought that I had to be "good", be the "nice" one that did the right thing and gave people second chances.


I really wish I wouldn't, I wish I would have sat down with that feeling that this isn't ok. Calmed down my anger and then set boundaries. But when we instead suppress what feels wrong and try to fix ourselves to fit the picture we instead breed inner insecurities, it makes it harder to trust oneself and we become deeply resentful and angry. Eventually that anger will turn into depression and self hatred. Because we're not listening to our own inner voice that's saying - No!


A lot of my life experiences have been challenging and a lot of that is because I had such a low self worth that I allowed people to treat me like shit. I was afraid of my own anger, I was afraid that I was bad when I felt angry. So I self censured, I blocked my own inner truth that something was inherently wrong and that I deserved more.


I'm just writing this post to my younger self and to you that may be sitting in a position where you're asking if you are asking for too much. The fact that you are asking that - means that something is off. Often we don't even need to confront, we can simply say no more and walk away. Some people won't get it and trying to prove your point that you deserve more is futile. The only person you need to ask for approval if you can ask for more is You. So see this as a permission slip to ask for more. It may feel uncomfortable, a lot of sadness may come up. Let it.


One day you'll look back at this moment and ask why was I ever attracted to that and those people? Because once you have self worth, they won't be attractive to you - at all. There will be nothing there for you. You will have moved out of that frequency once and for all.


Yes you deserve more!


With Love,

Kristina

Updated: Jan 15


What are the things that you have appreciated the most about this program?


I appreciated the deep, ongoing, and consistent support.  It really helped to support the dedication and motivation necessary to do rigorous and continuous spiritual practice.  It was also great to have the mirror of Kristina's deep intuition and sensing to help me see through aspects of things that I was working with that lacked clarity.  And the healings were very helpful in moving through times of stuckness, and brought a greater ease and joy to the process much of the time. 

What changes have you noticed throughout the program? Inner and outer? Psychical, spiritual, mental and emotionally?


My energy body feels completely different.  Very open and alive and spacious.  Meditation has deepened considerably.  At some point during the many months of the program, I realized how much my physical body was responding to all the healing work as well.  There was and still is a distinct sense of being healthier and more vital. In general, there is a greater ease and flow experienced in life, both inner and outer.  There is always more depth to be discovered and explored, but this program has created a very strong foundation for that continued deepening.  


Has the program met your expectations?


I didn't really have specific expectations.  If anything, I hoped it would be a good support for the spiritual deepening and practices that I was engaged in, and that certainly proved to be the case.


What have you learned?


 One of the big (and somewhat surprising things, as I thought I had a good handle on this already), was the great importance of taking measures to stay grounded, especially in the context of doings lots of energy work, spiritual practices, etc...  And along those lines, a deeper appreciation for the complete spectrum of the human experience, in all its beauty and challenge. I learned how much I have given preference to the formless domains/higher chakras, and through that, to some extent bypassing or neglecting to give proper attention and reverence to the more mundane levels of existence, including the domains governed by the lower chakras.  The amount of clearing that took place in my root and 2nd and 3rd chakras has been pretty mind blowing and has opened up a completely new appreciation for these.  


What was the most challenging aspects of the program?


The healings definitely brought up some very confronting material at times to be seen, worked with, and integrated.  This was emotionally challenging at times, physically a bit draining at times, and at times a bit hard on the body and the body's attempts to maintain a degree of homeostasis (Kristina would always offer assistance as needed though with this, even between sessions, and was very helpful in such circumstances).  None of it was too overwhelming, especially with a long background of spiritual practice and a sufficient degree of equanimity, but it was certainly not a walk in the park (and nor did I expect it to be).  That being said, the challenge was at some level enjoyed, as it was clearly a deep journey of discovery into greater truth.  There was a joy in surrendering to the process, even when it might be confronting and challenging, and Kristina was very skillful in helping to gently encourage this way of relating to the process.  

Anything else that you would like to mention?


Just that Kristina puts her whole heart and soul into her work.  I've known her for probably 10 years or so, and she's always been an amazing healer, and I've also seen her grow in her abilities and wisdom over this period of time.  She has deep integrity, and she has tremendous courage and dedication to both her own process of deepening into Awakening, and borne out of this, the capacity to deeply support others in this way. 


She was also extremely helpful in helping me integrate some very profound yet challenging plant medicine journeys that I participated in during the program months.  Her deep understanding and experience of that terrain, along with her highly refined psychic sensing and ability to clear and shift energies was a real gift in these circumstances. 

It was a true honor and privilege to have her play such a deep and intimate role in supporting me on my path over the course of this program.  I remain with gratitude.


❤️ Andrew

2023 was an odd year for me; looking back, not a lot of things happened on the material plane, but I believe under the surface, a lot of things have changed deeply.


I had more clients in 2023 than I've had ever and my constant prayer was to be upgraded so that my capacity could increase. I experienced some really deep exhaustion throughout the year and I'm glad that I've somehow gotten myself back to a level of strength and energy again that feels good and that feels healthy. It's also important to understand that to get upgrades you often gets exhausted and super tired for periods of times so it's really a normal flow of the ascension process but it can feel so tedious to have zero strength left for anything in life.


Therefore 2023 became the year of medicinal mushrooms and different adaptogens for me, to find a way to give myself more energy. It was also when I started to take collagen as a supplement and I never felt that my body had needed something so deeply. I think living on a high altitude as I do puts my body under a different kinds of stress as well, lack of oxygen and a greater pressure on the body overall. I've used many different herbs, plants and fungi throughout the year, the ones that were new for the year were reishi and rhodiola and they've both helped to give me more energy.


Others throughout the year there were cordyceps, cat's claw, chlorella, turmeric, hibiscus, ashwagandha the ones I worked regularly with, I also microdosed psilocybin with lion's mane throughout the year and that's about it.


I had a few plant medicine ceremonies, and when I say a few, I think it's only two Huachuma ceremonies that I had in the spring. They were massive ceremonies that changed my life on such a deep level and led my physical spinal cord to come to a point of complete healing. I haven't talked about these ceremonies or written about them because they are deeply personal and have a lot to do with my ancestral lineage, so they go beyond my personal scope of sharing. But the healing they brought to my spinal cord and the light that has opened up in my back is so wonderful that, if anything, 2023 should be remembered for that.


I finally became a conscious creator of my life in 2023, and I've talked a lot about us creating our personal reality. It's been one of my favorite subjects since my awakening, and yet there was a big part of me that didn't fully take responsibility for my own reactions, my own thoughts, and how I showed up at times in my life and what my true underlying beliefs were that were creating my reality.


A big part of my resistance to not being fully responsible and present with myself was that I carried some sort of shame about not being perfect. This weird burden I've carried is that I had to be so good and so pure and so something, and that something was something I thought I would never be. It was such a subtle feeling that it wasn't until I faced it from all directions that I realized that I just didn't love myself enough.


That lack of love that I didn't give myself was due to the belief that I was somehow lacking for not being enough. Such a trip, because once I just sat with it and loved that part of me, regardless, it just faded away. By loving myself and by really loving myself, I've really opened my own heart too, and from that place, a certain strength is coming through. A strength I'm not sure I've felt before because it's not strong and loud. It's so peaceful and so grounded, like a great mountain of peace.


You know, as I write this, I remember when I first came up to the sacred valley of the Peruvian Andes from the jungle in 2020. The Apus, the mountains told me that they would help me become like a mountain. Hmm, so maybe I'm closer to that now.


2023 was the year I met Tula, my dog. She was living outside my door when I moved into my new house at the beginning of the year. She originally belonged to my landlord's brother, but he didn't take good care of her, and she was spending most of her days outside of my door, a glass door, where she would sit and stare at me eating, working, and living. Eventually, when the rain came (it came late last year), she would sit and cry outside my door, all soaked and miserable and wet, so I would let her in. Then she started following me everywhere—I mean everywhere—and then it wasn't long until I started feeding her regularly and getting her dewormed, debugged, and washed (maybe for the first time in her life). She's my constant companion now, and I can't imagine life without her. ❤️


I remember at the end of 2022 and throughout 2023, all I wanted was massive change. Not just in one direction but in all directions. As if I had enough of what my life had been up to that point and that a change had to happen on all levels of my being. So that was my consistent prayer throughout the year—massive positive change on all levels of my being and my whole life experience.


2023 was a year I craved silence and stillness more than anything and it took me almost all year until I found it. I'm now living above the valley, among the peaks of the mountains and here I found this deep silence that I was seeking. In 2024 I will move to something completely different and new but maybe an even deeper stillness and silence. A new way of life will begin for me.


I will share more as we move into the year and as things come into motion finally.


Full Moon in Cancer 2023


2024 I expect to be a year of intensity. I've heard so many people talk about mass awakenings from so many different schools of thought. We are to expect more solar flares than ever before, and as the sun emits more light into our realm, the earth, Gaia will also respond. As our bodies receive this increase in light, both cosmic and earthly, we can expect people to start to feel things they've been trying to avoid for generations, it's all going to come to the surface to be felt.


For those who have already reached a certain alignment, this will be much easier than for those who are just at the beginning of their awakening. But I'm wondering if we will witness some sort of collective mass purgatory happening in 2024? or maybe it will more like a light switch being turned on? ✨


I've been feeling these new energies, these new frequencies come through and I feel as if New Earth is starting to show herself more and more. I only have the best feelings about 2024 to be honest and when I meditate on 2024 all I see and feel is massive light and love and this new frequency.. that feels so good to me.


With that I hold you all in my heart and in my prayers for the collective awakening and healing of humanity as well as for the regeneration and healing of Gaia which includes all our physical bodies.


✨ So much love and so many blessings into the new year for us all! ✨



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