Letting go is really at the centre of any healing or spiritual evolution. Nothing can be achieved unless you let go and surrender. Its the most important teaching. When we mastered the ability to let go, then we have mastered the experience of impermanence as the only thing constant in life is change. The ability to let go thus become the ability to let go of attachment. The more detached we can become to specific desires and expectations, the more detached we can become to sufferings and pain.
Now how do you do it?
I have a few techniques that I want to share with you. These are the techniques that has worked for me. If you find something that is working better for you then continue using that method but I advice to always be curious and try new things, new methods. You can always go back to old tried methods if the new ones don’t work as well as the old one did. Either way you’ll go back with added knowledge.
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The steps to release anything is as follows:
The first step is of course to become aware of what you’re feeling or just that you’re feeling ’something’, noticing what you’re feeling and where you’re feeling it. Notice what you’re thinking as you’re feeling it. The thought form will always come first, so become aware of the internal dialogue. We cannot suffer unless we choose to and we suffer through our perspective. So the awareness of our own perspective, of our own focus will help us to be able to shift and change towards a more positive and beneficial perspective that makes us feel good.
Take responsibility for it being there, whether its a negative thought form, a negative feeling or a physical pain. Take responsibility for the pain, for being in charge of it being there even though you may not want it to be there or consciously have no knowledge of ever having brought it into existence. The fact that its there makes you responsible and the only way to resolve and heal it is to become fully responsible for it.
Opening up the communication between your conscious self and your unconscious self, your subconscious. Which means being present with yourself at any state of being. That means being present with yourself, when you’re happy, when you’re sad or at any state of being “good” or “bad”.
In reality no feelings are ever ‘good’ or ‘bad’ they’re just messengers conveying messages from your higher self, from our subconscious. We can only know from which part of ourselves that the message is coming from if we listen. But we cannot just listen we have to also feel into the message, that’s true listening.
As you listen and feel into the emotion, the sensation, the feeling, the pain whatever it may be. Check in and ask if its ready to be released. You always want to ask when you’re communication with yourself. No one wants to be told what to do, not your higher self, not your subconscious. So always ask and then listen for a response. If its a no then I want you to check in again and ask if its possible to release 10% of the blockage/pain or discomfort. Often if the subconscious is not able to release the whole it will be much easier be able to release a smaller portion of the blockage and once the subconscious sees that it can heal, that it can be release, then it will easily release more.
What’s important to understand is that you can not force or push yourself to heal, you always have to soften and surrender to the pain, to the healing process. The more you rush and push, the more resistance you will experience in the entire healing process. Again acceptance and responsibility for your own state of being with all that it encompasses is vital.
5. Holding space
Holding space for yourself means to stay present in your discomfort, just to sit with it. To be with it, without pushing it away. Without trying to control it. Without trying to change anything. Complete acceptance. When you master this you will notice that everything changes, the pain will eventually shift, either it will go away or it will either intensify or start to soften. Either way you still just want to stay with it. Just be with it. Sort of like nurturing a sick child, you just need to be there for yourself. Your presence its all that is needed.
6. Asking for help
The final step is to ask God, the Universe, Source for help. Ask and its given. But you cannot ask and then push it to be taken away from you. You still have to follow all the above steps. You have to be with the pain, you have to accept the pain completely before you can release it. Sometimes we have to allow the pain to sit there until its ready to go. So if the above steps doesn't work I would finish my meditation but asking for release at the time where it serves me and leave it at that. Still in complete surrender.
What you resists persists.
Ultimately when we set our intention to heal, we start a process that’s so grand, thats so encompassing that everything in our lives will shift at some degree. That means that when we set our intentions to heal we activate everything that’s blocking us from true healing to be removed. That may mean that relationships may fall apart, that might mean that your entire life may fall apart. That might mean that you’ll have to deal with all your suppressed negative emotions that you’ve been suppressing for years and years.
Nothing in this process is easy, but practice makes it easier. Often its the initial awareness of how you’re actually feeling that may become extremely overwhelming at first. On top of that when your soul is set to heal, it wants to purge all feelings that are not resonating with the healing process. Which means that the soul goes deep into the layers of your being, pulling out stuff that’s not serving. That is great but the only way to release is to feel what’s being released, which may at times be overwhelming.
For many people that have been taught through life not how to feel but rather how to suppress our emotions. How not to cry. How not to feel pain. We live in a society that pops pills to sedate, to numb ourselves out. We go online, we watch tv, we watch porn, we drink alcohol, we smoke weed, we take subscription pills, medications, the ways to numb our own pain is countless. What’s important for each individual person is to recognize what our own patterns are and when we are subconsciously retreating to those patterns.
Often our greatest fears and our greatest blockages are deeply hidden underneath many different protection mechanisms. Blocking us from feeling, blocking us from seeing into our soul because there’s been some deep instilled limiting beliefs that if we venture there the pain will be unbearable and we would rather live in denial, in ignorance than ever feeling that pain again.
These hidden subconscious fears may have nothing to do with our current life time. These fear and limiting beliefs that create blockages throughout our being may have been inherited from our ancestors, it may come from parallel existences, from previous life times. Either way, the story in itself where they may come from doesn’t really matter. If it does then it will come up during the release but often the choice to incarnate into this lifetime is a compressed form of all lifetimes that you’ve ever lived. Which means that even though you’re just experiencing yourself as this human form, you’re much more than just this individual person, this individual soul, in fact you are a multidimensional being. That exists in more places than one, in fact you’re existing at all places all at once. So don't try to make sense of what you're purging, just allow yourself to feel it without an attachment to it. Try to feel into all and any resistance to feeling it because often therein lies the key for release. We are always our own healer.